A BOLD FRESH PIECE OF INANITY »

Monday, April 30, 2007

Say Cheese (Sandwich)!

Q: What is it called when your child, when sitting on a bench in the downtown area of a southern Tennessee city, takes a couple of bites of her lunch and declares herself full?
A: The Chattanooga Two-Chew

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Like Water off a Dad’s Back

Our little mermaid braved the contrastive environs of our hotel’s mind-numbingly cold pool and bubbling cauldron/hot tub. As you can see, her megawatt smile was unaffected by the extremes in water temperature.

Tender Loving Carousel

Of all the clearly identifiable animals that are a part of the Nashville Zoo’s winsome merry-go-round, Olivia selected a creature of ambiguous title. I pushed the sea otter and Beni suggested the giraffe; Olivia chose the leopard/cougar/puma/jaguar/mountain lion/panther.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Kids and Make Up

Beni’s mug became the target of an impromptu toddler cosmetology party.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Not Made for TV

Olivia and a friend discovered why PBS opted for the telegenic Barney over his fierce and homely twin.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

If at First You Don’t Succeed,…

…try (the) tricycle again. After a failed first attempt, Olivia remounted and was rewarded for her persistence.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Flower Derangement

While we’ve had plenty of the prerequisite for May flowers, our yard and landscaped areas will not reach their full blooming potential because our budding florist has decided that the flowers function better as in-the-home decorations or as gifts for our friends. Here are the last of our tulips, which incidentally, she called “byooo-tiful roses.”

Monday, April 16, 2007

Why My Better Half Is Indeed Better

Parenting a toddler by one’s lonesome is no picnic or walk in the park, unless of course it’s one of those rare instances, as it was for me today, when it’s just you accompanying your child on a walk through the park to find the perfect spot for a picnic. With Beni still away on a well-deserved hiatus, Olivia and I spent the morning hiking, playing, and picnicking at a county park.

This daddy-daughter weekend confirmed what I’d only intuited hitherto: that parenting solo is an exhausting and challenging endeavor.

Beni, thank you for doing just that on a near daily basis. I’ve spent the last couple days collecting all the props I can find so that I give them to you when you return. You are the better and the best!

Arch Nemesis

While Olivia originally faced this parabolic piece with trepidation, she eventually conquered it (and her fears to boot) through sheer determination and shoes with good traction.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Do unto Others

For the last segment of my multi-leg college reunion, Olivia and I spent some QT with these cuties: Emmy’s the baby and Addie’s her older sister. Their mother Becky and I are friends from school. Our children exemplify why single-race classification schemes will soon be the relic of a bygone era.

On this day, our multi-culti and multiracial children multitasked in the basement of their multilevel home.

Nintendo Wee

Stop Number Two was Hassan and Michelle’s house, where Hassan gave us a tour of their new digs and dazzled us with his fancy electronic gizmos. Their basement alone could pass for a Best Buy.

I enjoyed watching experiencing the Discovery Channel’s Planet Earth series on an HD television the size of Luxembourg; Olivia loved acing me in tennis (no joke) and bowling strikes (again, no joke) when playing the Nintendo Wii.

A Room with a Viewmaster

Olivia hadn’t seen Noah, our friends Nate and Katie’s oldest son, in over a year, but any collective apprehension melted away the minute the toys came out. Here the duo dueled to determine who has the fastest draw in the Midwest.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Roll-Play

Our belle hopped right up to assist us with our luggage. We stayed in a hotel by the airport so that Beni could catch a shuttle for her early morning flight out East to see a friend from college. Olivia and I spent the next day catching up with some of my college friends in the area.

Nap Sacked

Olivia tells us what she thinks of naptime.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Here's Looking at You, Kid

A clean face, combed hair, good temperament, and clothes that were ironed -- today seemed as good as day as any to get Olivia's year three professional pictures taken, even though her third birthday is not for another two months. It's hard to believe that we're already one-sixth of the way through the time we get to spend with her before she leaves for college. It seems like it was just yesterday that we brought home this bundled-up bundle of joy:

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Easter Standard Time

The excitement over the prospect of hidden eggs and presents was too much for our little one to sleep on. She arose at the crack of the crack of dawn – just before the sun came up – to discover the items the bunny dropped off (sharing a random thought here: I find it hard to resist calling these items rabbit droppings) at our house.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

String Theory

Function: noun
1: a theory in physics: all elementary particles are manifestations of the vibrations of one-dimensional strings
2: a theory in instrumentation: all children will fiddle around if they find a fiddle around

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Bean Counter

We’ll all have a laugh one day if and when Olivia becomes an accountant. Add this photo to the growing list of pics foretelling of professional possibilities: basketball player, zebra racer, photographer, fairy godmother, politician, race car driver, professional golfer, apple picker, marathoner, cyclist, farmer, environmentalist, trapeze artist, podiatrist, dog trainer, painter, restaurant critic, and housekeeper.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

April Showers…

…and baths bring hair that can be combed. Olivia’s hair is always one tangle away from a rat’s nest, which makes styling it an adventure. I don’t blame her for running away at the sight of combs or brushes.

In order to establish some sense of hair decorum though, we’ve had to utilize both a third party and Olivia’s obsession with haircuts (at malls, she makes us stop by hair studios so that she can observe the lopping of the locks). At G’s house, Olivia gets out a stool, a towel (which she calls a cape), barrettes, and hair ties in preparation for heh-cut time. She lets G work on her hair first, and then returns the favor (as shown above).