Side by Sidewalk Comparison

Kelly Clarkson, your American Idol, offers this as the intro to the chorus of “Because of You”:

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk

Olivia Maren, when singing along to Kelly Clarkson’s song, gives us this interpretation:

Because of you
I never stray too far from the eyeball

First Day Amendment

Olivia’s first official day of preschool was to have been last week, but her illness necessitated that it be changed to today. I think the week delay may have been served all of us well – we got some extra time to mentally and emotionally prepare for the change. I can report that nary a tear fell from our daughter’s or her parents’ eyes during that first good-bye, and that a minor miracle occurred during the course of the day. Our preschooler (I can say that now), the same child who won’t fall sleep at home unless someone is lying by her, napped by herself at school for an hour and a half this afternoon.

Gangsta Wrap

Olivia was looking real gangsta after donning her swimsuit cover-up and hooded raincoat.

I Love You, I Love You Knot

They say that time is of the essence, but for men who work in an office that requires professional business attire, a tie is also of the essence. Olivia finds the formality both fun and funny – she loves to wear my ties around the house and she cracks herself up when pretending they’re for roping steer.

Lil’ Miss Speller

Bee-ware, future spelling bee participants: We may have a young spelling prodigy on our hands.

Okay, maybe not, but we do have a child who’s not backing down from a spelling challenge. Our playing of Boggle Jr. allows Olivia to work on her three- and four-letter words, but this evening, she desired a greater challenge. I threw out “sticker,” and here’s how she replied literatim:

D-O-L-O-L-O-I-H-E-H-X

Sick-O

Fannie Lou Hamer, an American civil rights activist, once said, “I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired” – a sentiment shared by Olivia on this day. Today marks Day 3 of her hacking cough, and therefore, we were once again rebuffed (re-rebuffed, if you will) in our attempt to celebrate her first day of preschool. Even Olivia’s grown tired of the unlimited TV and juice privileges. Here, the wee one can’t stave off ennui despite the playing of her favorite cartoon.

Making a Spectacle(s) of Themselves

G brought over some gifts tonight to make Olivia feel better: the child missed her first day of preschool due to illness. As you can see, the new sunglasses helped brighten up an otherwise gloomy day.

Hoarse Whisperer

Olivia’s come down with a nasty cough over the weekend, one that’s taken away her voice. On one hand, it’s doleful for the world is temporarily bereft of a songbird, but on the other hand, it does give us a respite from the times when our songbird turns screeching owl.

We visited a doctor today to make sure she didn’t have anything serious – she doesn’t. What Olivia did have was Pinky Winky, her stuffed pig, to get her through the check-up. Here’s the lovable pair:

Big Aspirations

Overheard while getting ready for work this morning:

“I just made some little farts. When I’m a big grown-up, I’ll make big farts.”

MapQuest

Olivia has a fascination with maps. In the car, she’s always asking to look at the atlas or the AAA state maps. At home, she likes to create ones for our family, and recently, she’s offered her cartography skills for others. For instance, we said good-bye this week to her friend Davey and his family on the night before their move to Indiana, at which time Olivia volunteered to draw them a map to their new house.

This week also marked Olivia uttering this gem after I’d shown her on the world map where our pasta was from:

“Wow! I’ve never heard of Italy before. It’s a long car ride over there.”

Winter Wanderlust

The last two days, Olivia’s dropped a couple hints that she’d like us to leave immediately for the hemisphere on the other side of the equator, at least the parts on that side experiencing winter at this time. Yesterday, she lay supine at the water park to make “snow angels,” and today, she ran up to her room in some fit of illogicality to try on her snowsuit. I give to you the pictorial evidence:

Wetting Dress

I took Olivia to a playground this morning, but the triple-digit temperatures forced us to seek relief offsite. The amphibious one headed for the adjacent sprayground; I made my way to the shaded pavilion.

Blanket Statement

After a fortnight of (the return of) fitful nighttime sleep, our guarded optimism has given way to hopelessness, which, as we’re all too familiar with, is only a stone’s throw from disquiet desperation. We’d tried some new tricks this time – half-mile walks before bedtime, a second dinner, a room air conditioner – all to no avail. On the eve of another uneven evening, we put our heads together to see if we could come up with the common denominator of our recent slate of successive, successful nights.

We actually came up with two common denominators – Laga, Olivia’s Swedish teddy bear, and Blankie, her baby blanket – both of which had been bedside during our brief reentrance into the human world, but had spent the past two weeks at G’s house because we’d forgotten to pick them up after Olivia’s most recent overnight stay there.

And wouldn’t you know it, on the first night Olivia had her bear and blanket back, she kept her eyelids shut until morning.

(Cutie) Pie in Disguise

Olivia often asks us to tie a bath towel or pillowcase around her neck so that she can play superhero. She then runs about with her “cape” trailing behind her, deciding on the situations befitting of a superhero’s presence. Having noticed the familiar getup when I got home from work this evening, I threw out what was supposed to be a rhetorical question.

“Olivia dear,” I started, “you’re a superhero again, huh?” She looked at me head atilt, then while angling her neck in the other direction, responded with, “I’m not a superhero, Daddy, I’m just a cutie pie.”

Slide Show

There’s an elementary school in our neighborhood that’s home to an endangered species – one of those lofty stand-alone slides. For months now, Olivia’s feared its steep climb and longish descent, but a newfound sense of adventurousness has meant a willingness to overcome old apprehensions.

A Royal Pain

The dilemma for parents who care about this sort of thing: Do you indulge your daughter in princess regalia and stories, or do you listen to your inner feminist to find more “suitable” role models? On one hand, we realize that there are many strong, independent-minded women in the world who grew up playing princess and watching Disney films, but on the other hand, we’d like Olivia to go through life not dreaming about being rescued by a prince, charming or not.

As you can see, Beni and I quell our desire for a princess-free home. Even as vegetarians, we understand that there are bigger fish to fry in the world of child rearing.

Whoopee! Cushion!!

At various times, the cushion of the bench in our front room has acted as a sled, a car, and a spaceship. This morning, our imaginative daughter declared it a sleeping bag.

M(omm)ySpace

Keep in mind that when Beni and I were in college, email was just getting off the ground. The events of this week proved that an old dog can be taught new tricks. (And that I’m going to get in trouble for calling my wife an old dog.)

At the behest of her sister, my soon-to-be thirtysomething wife joined MySpace.com, the social networking site that attracts individuals who are a few, if not many, years her junior. To Beni’s credit, her page reflects who she is – a proud and hip mama – and not someone trying to relive or recreate her youth.

The inordinate amount of time that Beni spent perfecting her page provided the occasion for this particularly funny family exchange:

Me (noticing that Beni’s face is again illuminated by the lap top): "Beni, are you busy counting up all your friends from MySpace?"

Beni (obviously distracted): "Huh?"

Me: "Are you busy counting your MySpace frie…"

Olivia (interrupting): "It’s not your space, Daddy. It’s Mommy’s space!"

Changing of the Garden

This period of hot weather and limited rain is wearing heavily on our beleaguered garden. About the only things that have survived (thrived, in fact) are the zucchinis and the tomatoes. Olivia has enjoyed gathering the fruits (and vegetables) of our labor.

A Rose By Any Other Name

Gertrude Stein once wrote, “Rose is a rose is a rose is a rose.” Olivia Maren once wrote, “A Rose,” a song inspired by a solitary rose that had emerged from the unkempt mess we call the west side of our house. I offer to you, loyal reader, one of the best and funniest songs I’ve ever heard.

A Rose

I’d like you to have a rose
I’d like you to have a banana

I’d like you to drive an ice cream truck
Or even a bus

I’d like you to have one of these stickers
I’d like you to have a comic

I like to color sometimes
I’d like you to color with me

I like bananas

Belles Letters

Olivia was letter-perfect when spelling out her name with her body. Here she's bringing her A-game:

You, Me and (Olivia) Do Preschool

We made a family visit to Olivia’s preschool this morning. With Beni transitioning back to her professional life soon, we were eager to see in action the starting point of our daughter’s road to Harvard. Totally kidding, of course. (We’re aiming for Yale instead.)

We met with the director of the preschool, a couple teachers, and the kids in her class. In the hour we were there, Olivia acted as if she’d been there before: she sat with her new friends, sang their new songs, and helped pick up their toys. For parents, relief often fills the space previously occupied by anxiety. On this day, the fear that our daughter would reject her new surroundings – or worse, the reverse – gave way to emotions marked by comfort and contentedness.