A BOLD FRESH PIECE OF INANITY »

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Facing a Short Fall

I’m not one of those environmentalists who attributes any abnormal weather occurrence to global warming—who am I kidding? I most certainly am that person!—but come on, this is getting ridiculous. I want to ask the deniers of science where our springs and autumns have gone. Tell them I’d like our seasons back, and so would our kids and grandkids.

Below is the view from our front porch this morning, a mere two days after Olivia staged an impromptu celebration for autumn at her preschool’s playground:

I realize that we are just a month away from winter’s official start, but the phenomena of winters and summers starting earlier—an observable result of global climate change—has effectively cheated us and the natural world of full falls and springs. A year without the four seasons is like listening to Vivaldi’s “The Four Seasons” without the spring and fall movements: it deprives us of the full sensory experience.

And so while I can appreciate the beauty that is the first snowfall of the year, it also has me recommitted to the cause for which I care so deeply. So remember: us treehuggers may be self-righteous and annoying as hell, but at least we’re on the side working to stave off global ruination.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Faux Show

Contrary to Olivia’s recipe, we didn’t attempt a tofu-rducken—a dish consisting of Tofurkey® stuffed with a de-boned mock duck, which itself is stuffed with a small soy chicken—this Thanksgiving, but we did prepare the original ersatz “meat” loaf, seen here in full soy and wheat gluten glory.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Once in a Leaftime

The fall, named perhaps for what the leaves do from tree branches, provides those opportunities to gather both leaf piles and memories from our childhood. I can still vividly recall the smells and sounds of crashing into and thrashing about a mound of raked leaves. And it’s nearly as fun now watching my daughter share in the joy of this rite of fall as it was for me when I was that child among the leaves.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Wonder the Weather

Olivia grabbed my tie, belt, and basketball shoes, then made like Willard Scott by giving us the weather forecast and wishing Beatrice Sanders of Rapid City, South Dakota a very happy 100th birthday.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Mocked Turtleneck

Our child's reason for not wanting to wear her newest item of clothing:

"My friends were all staring at my turtleneck with a mean face."

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Theory of (Dance Dance) Revolution

At a gathering at Hassan and Michelle’s, the kids and the kids at heart danced—then danced again—toward a revolution.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Let It Sew!

Last night we attended a holiday fundraiser that’s organized by a local social service agency. We came with friends for the festivities, fun, and food but got even more in return: Olivia and I got our names in the newspaper. Here’s an excerpt of the article in which we were mentioned:

Four-year-old Olivia K. sang “Jingle Bells” into the microphone. Olivia’s father, Chris K. of [our hometown], said the festival is a “great way to jumpstart the holidays. And it’s for such a good cause.”

The [previously named] nonprofit agency serves more than 1,000 families every year with residential treatment, family and community services and academic services for children.

The goal for this year’s festival is $170,000.

Olivia said her favorite part of the festival was telling her holiday wishes to Santa Claus. She said she told him that for her the greatest gift of all would be a sewing machine. [Ha! What a stitch!]

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Hump Day

The Camel

The camel has a single hump,
The dromedary two,
Or else the other way around;
I'm never sure, are you?

Ogden Nash

Olivia: "Camel, camel. Daddy, caaa-MULL!"

Me: "Why are you saying ‘camel,’ Olivia?"

Olivia: "Because I love you."

Me: "I love you too, sweetie. But what’s with all the camels?"

Olivia: "It means ‘I love you’ in Spanish."

Me: "Oh…te amo."

Olivia: "Yup. Camel."

Me: "Camel too, Olivia."

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Never a Doll Moment

Kenneth and Mamie Clark were married psychologists famous for their doll studies that demonstrated the ways racism seeped into the psyches of young black children. Their experiments tested perceptions of race, and their findings—that black kids seemed to prefer white dolls over black ones—were cited in Brown v. Board of Education, the landmark Supreme Court decision that ruled public-school segregation unconstitutional.

Fast-forward fifty-plus years and you’ll still find how dolls can help demonstrate prevailing racial beliefs and assumptions. Our daughter—she of three races—is old enough to know that people are often categorized by certain physical characteristics but too young to understand all that lies beneath that scratched surface. And so when she picks up her favorite doll, the thought may cross her mind that her baby’s skin is darker than her own, but that’s the extent of it.

Olivia’s decided recently to bring her baby doll with her most every time we’re out, including to school (and restaurants). The other day, two teachers discovered the doll lying alone on a table and began searching for its parent. Olivia, seeing that her doll had been found, spoke up to claim her baby. “Is this really your baby?” the teachers asked. Yes, insisted Olivia. "Really?" they inquired. Yes, she nodded.

When I asked her to speculate as to why the teachers had asked her repeatedly whether the doll was actually hers, Olivia relayed that they were just making sure because her name wasn’t written anywhere on the doll. Of course…my sentiment inexactly. (I am prone toward cynicism far too often.)

It’s at a moment like this when I’m reminded of the preciousness of youthful innocence.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Give Me Bubble Tea or Give Me Death

At this point, I half expect my family and friends to hold an intervention on my behalf. My addiction? The sweet allure of boba tea—aka bubble tea—a tea beverage served with gelatinous tapioca pearls.

How bad has it gotten? Well, our local tea house has a customer loyalty program—a free beverage after ten paid drinks—which I have cashed in on so often that I’d be entitled to a free drink on all my free drinks, if management happened to be so generous.

I find myself craving bubble teas more than I ever did coffee drinks, but fortunately for our pocketbook and my waistline, the shops serving these ambrosial (and highly caloric) beverages are much more difficult to find—at least where we live—than the innumerable places offering cups of joe.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Blast from the Past

This happened back in February around Valentine’s Day. Olivia had inquired why the helium-filled heart balloon in our living room was becoming more earthbound with each passing day.

Me: "Olivia, do you know what's in a balloon that makes it float?"

O: "No."

Me: "Well, it's a gas called helium. Can you say 'helium'?"

O: "HEE-lee-yum. It's a gas? Just like my farts?"

Monday, November 10, 2008

Hoping for Smooth Sale-ing

Our charming, well cared for, conveniently located, historic home gets launched into the housing market’s choppy waters on this day. Here’s to a bon voyage.

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Never-Never Landscape

After several failed landscaping projects in the past, I vowed to never attempt another one again. Ha. I should have never said never, especially since we’re looking to boost our home’s curb appeal. (We’re putting our house up for sale this week.) Fortunately for me, I have a child who loves to help out with this sort of work.

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Dancing Around: the Subject

Olivia is enrolled in a tap and ballet class through our local parks & rec department, but like most things we sign her up for, she’s yet to fully participate in the activities. In this case, I think it’s about expectations not meeting reality: she probably came into this thinking “Dancing With the Stars” or “America’s Best Dance Crew,” but knows now that hard work precedes fancy feet.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Gender Studies

Prior to taking our firstborn to the ultrasound appointment that would reveal the baby’s sex, we asked her if she knew how we would be able to make the distinction. She nodded in the affirmative, stating that seeing a peanuts would equal boy, while the sight of a ‘gina would signify a girl.

For those who haven’t heard yet, here’s what we saw:

We’re looking forward to welcoming our little peanut—his peanuts occluded in the above profile—to our family in early April.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

The Day the World Became More Hopeful

It’s been shown that people often vote for candidates with whom they identify most. So perhaps it should come as no surprise that both Beni and I, being biracial, identified with the junior senator from Illinois early on. Fortunately for us, his worldview is quite simpatico with ours.

And so it brought us great hope—yes, hope—that this country we love so dearly and its citizens accomplished this most historic feat. To borrow liberally (pun intended) from our friends on the right (Palin and the plumber included), we put our country first, and along the way, created a first for our country.

Political party: Obamaniacs at an Obama-rama

Monday, November 03, 2008

Gift of for the Maggie

The circle that Olivia runs with at school is actually a triangle: there’s our child, Tianna, and Maggie. Their teacher calls them “The Three Musketeers.” Tianna can be real hot and cold—one day telling Olivia that she’s her best friend, the next day relaying that they’re no longer friends. Maggie, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to engage in such games. And so that explains why one of them got a card and the other one didn’t.

Some close-ups: