Beach Nut

Child Chases Birds on Public Beach

NEWPORT, Rhode Island, July 10 – In what can only be described as a Hitchcockian turn on a Hitchcockian film, three-year-old Olivia Maren launched a one-person assault on the shorebirds of Newport’s Easton’s Beach. Witnesses said that the attack lasted for fifteen minutes. Her parents concurred, noting “that [the attack] quickly devolved from comical to irksome.”

Beach officials noted that neither Olivia Maren nor her parents were booked under Newport’s Statute 5.12 – Animals shall remain unprovoked; failure to do so may result in a fine and/or a time out for the offending party – citing the child’s young age and her willingness to share cookies.