Ill-Fortuned

In a rerun of her preschool debut, Olivia missed orientation at her new school because she was sick. One thing for sure: The kid’s never going to garner perfect attendance honors.

Some background: We moved her out of her first preschool for the very reason – that of unrealistic expectations – that they’d probably indict us of. They must have been vexed that we’d dare question their systematic use of bribes and intimidation – how else are you to subdue a roomful of spirited preschoolers? As for us, we’d grown weary of the school’s bent for coercive education. Under their roof, the kids are expected to sit still on a piece of carpet for up to thirty minutes, eat lunch in complete silence, and find nourishment from a doughnut or cupcake; failures to meet expectations were countered with derision and the threat that the kids would not get their candy rewards or stickers (those which, by the way, were eventually redeemed for more candy or toys). As the weeks went by, the divide between the school’s and our philosophical positions on early childhood education became too great to overcome, something divorce-seeking couples identify as irreconcilable differences.

Olivia will now attend a preschool run by a nearby church. As absentees of houses of worship, we weren’t necessarily looking at faith-based schools, but from our meetings with the school’s director and its teachers, we’re sure we’ve found a much better fit for our daughter and our family, religious divergences be damned.