Going, Going, Gong!

Olivia’s The Gong Show tribute is apropos as I close out a month straight of blog entries.

Fight or Flight Response

Rather than fight with my uncooperative child at a crowded library tonight, I let Olivia run wild on the condition that her naturally booming voice not go above the level of a loud whisper. She kept herself quiet and busy in the DVD section and holiday books before turning her attention to the computers in the children’s section, where she pretended to be an aircraft marshaller.

In Like a Lion, Out Like a Lamb

What’s Hot?

Lions in dreams: Recently, Olivia’s had two dreams involving lions, including one in which her feline friend splashed her with water while they were swimming together.

What’s Not?

Lions on the field: After a 6-2 start, the hapless NFL franchise out of Detroit (Olivia sports their pink jersey above) has returned to form with their current losing streak that has no end in sight.

In Golly Trust

Olivia has introduced into our household the practice of pre-meal prayers, a routine she picked up in preschool. She usually leads us in a rousing rendition of “Oh, the Lord is Good to Me,” which is punctuated at the end with a fist-pumping ah-MEN, although she’s been more partial recently to “God We Thank You,” a prayer-song she swears is “Golly Thank You.”

Creative Juices

Olivia told us recently that she’s going to have a daughter when she’s all “growed up” and that she’s going to name her Sobe – pronounced [so-bee] – as in the beverage company.

Carte Branch

Olivia granted herself the absolute power and authority to bogart decorations off the family tree for her little one, making hers as highly decorated as a war hero. We are constantly having to pick up items off the floor because her tree is struggling with the disproportionate ratio of total ornament weight to load-bearing capacity of its branches.

Bright Child

Many hands make light work: A proverb that teaches us that large tasks become small when divided among several people.

Many hands make lights work: A statement that explains our family’s attempt to bring holiday cheer to our neighborhood.

Pooch Smooch

Olivia demonstrates a level of affection for her dog that rivals those that her mother, aunt, and grandmother have for Black Friday doorbusters.

Turkey-ish Delight

This was the only “turkey” coming out of our oven this Thanksgiving: Olivia and Aunt Liz got our vegetarian Thanksgiving off to a great start with this coupon-inspired collaborative effort.

Her Heart's in the Right Placemat

On the eve of Thanksgiving, our preschooler presented to us a placemat detailing the things for which she’s thankful. I couldn’t get the entire collage scanned, but here’s most of it.

We just love the things that made it onto her placemat. Here they are, both the labeled and unlabeled items, as told to us by Olivia:

• Art (where art thou without thou's art?)
  
• Cookies (not a tough one)
  
• Pets (little woman's best friend)
  
• Our house (is a very, very, very fine house)
  
• Swimming (a favorite family pastime)
  
• Cheese pizza (no pepperoni for our vegetarian chicken!)
  
• Trees (hugging them since 2006!)
  
• Macaroni (dietary staple)
  
• Rain (just like her parents – Pacific Northwest, here we come!)
  
• Friends (are presents you give yourself)
  
• Family (like friends but more permanent)
  

Bringing Down the (Open) House

Olivia wore her fancy green dress for the Thanksgiving concert she and her classmates put on during tonight’s open house. They performed a medley of timely songs including “Little Pilgrim” and “Six Little Turkeys.”

The superlative form of cute fails to capture the preciousness of the moment, but the super-superlative cutest-est comes close.

Sight for Poor Eyes

Beni and I come by nearsightedness naturally – each of our parents wears corrective lenses. So when Olivia tried on a pair of glasses at the drugstore, she was actually peering into the future. Let’s just hope that she doesn’t look quite as dorky as her mom and dad did as kids.

Yo-Yo, Ma

We’ve spent recent Sunday mornings at our community’s Unitarian Universalist (UU) church. According to the Unitarian Universalist Association’s web site, Unitarian Universalism is a liberal religion with no creed. Furthermore, it affirms the worth of human beings, advocates freedom of belief and the search for advancing truth, and tries to provide a warm, open, supportive community for people who believe that ethical living is the supreme witness of religion.

All we know is that it’s possible for an earth-centered agnostic and a non-practicing Catholic to both feel welcome and comfortable within a church’s walls. The most pleasant surprise, however, has been how much Olivia enjoys her religious education classes. Every week she begs us to go back to the yo-yo church. (Attempts to correct her malaprop are always rebutted.)

Heck to the Victors

Today marked the big Michigan-Ohio State football game. We were all decked out in maize and blue to cheer on our beloved Wolverines. Olivia even requested a Michigan victory when it came time for her to tell Santa what she wanted for Christmas. Notice the disappointment in her face though when Saint Nick provided an un-jolly updated score. He said the best he could do was to encourage Lloyd Carr, U of M’s head coach, to retire so that the team’s losing streak to the Buckeyes might be retired along with him. (The rumor following the game was that Carr would announce his retirement on Monday.)

Yes, Olivia, there really is a Santa Claus. As consolation, he gave our disconsolate daughter a teddy bear – Olivia immediately named her White Bear and claims she’s Laga’s sister – and we got her a Christmas cookie.

Umbrella Enchanted

As parents, we take pride in Olivia’s many accomplishments, even especially the most trivial ones. I’m particularly proud to report that our diminutive diva has an uncanny knack for song lyrics. In fact, Olivia’s already surpassed my level of lyrical recall. Her repertoire includes songs from Beyoncé, Rascal Flatts, Alicia Keys, Supertramp, and most recently, Rihanna, whose smash hit “Umbrella” captivated a nation and a certain three-year-old.

Nothing warms my heart quite like hearing my daughter belt out the chorus of “Umbrella,” right down to the ella ella’s and the ­­eh eh eh's.

Minding her Ps and Js

Olivia’s preschool invited its kids to wear their pajamas to school today. The convenience of it all – I just had to change her pull-up and she was ready to go – makes me look forward to next Monday, the other pajama day on the calendar. In a perfect world, I’d be able to convince my bosses of a similar arrangement at work.

Concert-O

We accompanied Olivia to a Kidz Bop concert this evening where we met up with Noah, Ashton, and their parents, as well as with Zack, Marion, and their dad. (Big ups to Katie for the great seats.) The kids didn’t know what to make of the production initially – they observed curiously from their seats for the first half – but really got into it after the intermission. Olivia found her dancing partner and feet upon spotting Walker, her schoolmate and occasional best friend. She convinced the long-locked lad to join her in the “mosh pit,” the two of them putting on a show more entertaining than the one on stage.

A-Lister

The title character of Wallace’s Lists, a favorite book of Olivia’s, is a mouse whose life is structured around the various lists he keeps. He meets Albert, a free-spirited mouse who teaches Wallace to welcome life’s surprises not as diversions from a to-do list but rather as adventures. Olivia’s usually equal parts Albert and Wallace – she spontaneously jumps from activity to activity yet takes comfort in knowing the things or events to expect.

This evening she was all Wallace. Beni dropped us off at the veggie pick-up before heading out to a home party, and below is the exact list Olivia created on site as to how we’d wind down our day. (She got upset when I suggested that item 2 would be incorporated in item 3; she was adamant about keeping them distinct):

1) Pick up vegetables and place pumpkin in lap
2) Take a walk
3) Go home
4) Take a bath
5) Put on pajamas
6) Brush teeth
7) Read books
8) Go to bed

Backlog

The face says it all: Olivia doesn’t have regular BMs, she has BUMs – bowel un-movements. We’ve tried everything short of suppositories to help move things along. The porcelain gods must have been smiling on us though because we recently stumbled upon the food item that Olivia’s holding up below. Sunsweet offers individually wrapped prunes, snacks that our picky daughter affectionately calls “candy prunes.” We call them “dehydrated miracles.”

Family Leaves Act

G invited Olivia to assist her with an annual rite of fall – the raking of leaves into piles worthy of jumping into and collecting.

High Purse Pace

Olivia’s been cranking out purses at a rate that would make her competitive for Chinese factory jobs. And she knows that her daddy is secure enough in his manhood that he’d not think twice about toting around his keys and wallet in a personalized pink purse.

Town Criers

I lived in Japan when I was young. I tried my best to fit in – I went to public school, spoke the language, participated in festivals, ate the food – but being the child of a Japanese dad and a white American mom meant that I’d always be looking in not from a position that was the outside or the inside but rather a space between them.

Branded a gaijin – Japanese for outsider – I was fodder for the school and neighborhood bullies. Unpleasant encounters often reduced me to tears, but the waterworks were not only reserved for such instances. You see, unlike my adversaries, my tears were not discriminatory. I cried over skinned knees, spilled milk, school speeches, missed television programs, you name it. The crying episodes became so frequent and problematic that my fiscally conservative father opened up the coffers in a game attempt to dewimpify his firstborn son. We worked out a deal: in exchange for a tear-free week, I’d receive a handheld electronic game.

The above is the very game (bless this thing we call the internet and its explorer Google) – though not the same unit – I “earned” for my efforts. Full disclosure: A quarter century later, I think enough time has passed to say this – Dad, I actually cried once that week, but it was because some kids pointed to a pile of rocks and told me that’s where I lived. Who wouldn’t cry about that? But know that I drew strength from the ninja game you bought me and that I haven’t cried since 1982.

Okay, that’s not true. I’m still the same fragile soul I was back then. I realize now that my acutely emotional nature has more to do with my being the product of two hypersensitive parents than with anything else. This truism serves as a good reminder when my equally sensitive wife and I wonder why our daughter often meets adversity with sorrowful cries.

After all, she is our own flesh and blood and tears.

Sock Lunch

Q: Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of socks with her to lunch at Chipotle?
A: Just in case she got a hole in one.

Trivial Pursuit of Non-Trivial Matters

Actual questions that have been asked recently by our inquisitive daughter:

Question #1: What’s the name of the black person who teaches at my school?
Answer: Did you just say black person??
[Note #1: We’re not sure how or from whom Olivia learned about racial categories. Things should get even more interesting when she starts questioning her own racial makeup, which happens to be a tri-color amalgam.]
[Note #2: For those of you playing along at home, the actual answer is Maria.]

Question #2: Where do squirrels live?
Answer (as provided by questioner): In nests called dreys

Question #3: What’s God?
Answer: Go ask your mother.

Sweetening the Potty

It was one of those moments that occurred while our attention and gaze were momentary diverted: Beni had been straightening up our daughter’s room and I’d been putting away some clothes, which evidently gave Olivia more than enough time to prospect for the chocolate chips on top of the toilet.

Missing Accomplished

My family accompanied me to the airport tonight to bid me farewell. I was heading out on a business trip, one that would take me away from them for three days. The sendoff was going smoothly until I got up to the security gate. As I turned to my darling duo for some final hugs and kisses, Olivia became overwhelmed by emotions, namely the sadness variety. Tears of heartache were met with sobs of anguish. She clutched my neck like a professional wrestler, constantly adjusting her grip to get a better hold. I was surprised by her reaction because our previous goodbyes had been so pedestrian.

I eventually made it through security, but there’s something about a child lamenting your impending absence that keeps taut your pulled heartstrings for a long time. I carried those feelings with me from takeoff to landing, and apparently I wasn’t the only one. Beni told me that hours after they’d left the airport, Olivia randomly turned to her and said, “I’m still missing Daddy.”

Emilie’s Post

According to a recent entry on Emilie’s fabulous blog about her son Henry and their family’s adventures, November is National Blog Posting Month. We are to post entries to our blogs every day for the month, and should we meet that challenge, stand to positively alter the course of human history (or something along those lines). Godspeed, bloggers!

Happy as a Clam

Beni received the following cookied fortune tonight after our dinner at a Thai restaurant.

Come to think of it, this “mistake” can be easily explained: As inferred from the idiom, clams are happy beings. The unfortunate fortune scribe, unfamiliar with such language conventions, believed “clam” to be synonymous with “happy.” Although pad thai has been crowned the national dish of Thailand, the happiness and impartiality combo remains the dietary staple of the Thai workplace.

Fall Guise

Olivia holds up her latest masterpiece outside her preschool.

Hunting Season

The hunt for red October leaves continues into the new month. In recent days, Olivia and Beni have scoured our neighborhood for nature’s treasures. They’ve literally bagged some big game – a brown paper bag has served as keeper of the bounty.

We employed the same technique this evening while trekking the paved trail close to our house, but this time we also brought with us a list of scavenge-able items. As you can see, Olivia successfully checked off all the items on the list, including the ambiguous and ever so elusive “surprise.”