A Counting Society

The young and not-young gathered together to usher out the old year and welcome the new. Prior to the kid- and tired-adult-friendly countdown (we celebrated at 8 p.m. local time), the children were entertained by a balloon artist extraordinaire and storyteller better-than-ordinaire. (Many cheers – maybe 2,009 of them – to our friends, Beth and Jack, for organizing the event.)

"Our Year"

As this entry's title states literally, here's...

Our Year in Quotes

January 2008

“I can be kind to others by…giving flowers and being nice to all the people I know!”
Olivia, completing the phrase from a school lesson on Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., thus beginning a yearlong obsession with the civil rights leader.

February 2008

“Yeah, Obama winned again.”
Olivia, speaking casually on her toy phone to no one in particular, reporting that the presidential hopeful was victorious in yet another Democratic primary.

March 2008

Beni: “Do you know why people celebrate Easter?”
Olivia: “For Dr. King.”
Beni: “What about Dr. King?”
Olivia: “He wants us to have a wonderful time and have a happy Easter.”

April 2008

“The only way they’ll pass me is if they take pity on me.”
Your faithful writer of this blog, ever the optimist, sizing up his chances of receiving a passing score on the comprehensive exam for his master’s program. (Alas, he was pitied, and therefore passed.)

May 2008

“Jesus is a girl, Daddy.”
Olivia, demonstrating her religious literacy.

June 2008

“I think Mommy magicked into the picture.”
Olivia, believing that Beni had crossed over from three- to two- dimensional space when she unable to find her in a game of hide- and-seek, leading her to look for her mother in a painting.

July 2008

“We’ll have to send G a thank-you card for leaving us all of her stuff.”
Olivia, making lemonade out of lemons after her grandmother moved from in-town to the East Coast.

August 2008

“I am so proud of you. You get a golden medal for being such a good grandma.”
Olivia, swept up in the Olympic spirit, awarding Grandma Randi the top prize for accompanying us on separate summer trips to the Atlantic and Pacific coasts.

September 2008

“If it’s a girl, let’s name her Flowery Cicada; if it’s a boy, Mr. Fitzbots.”
Olivia, dropping two of her many suggestions for her sibling’s name.

October 2008

“Under no circumstances will I ever be pregnant again—period.”
Beni, suffering in the third of four miserable, bedridden months of severe nausea and vomiting due to pregnancy.

November 2008

“We’ll know it’s a boy if the baby has peanuts.”
Olivia, getting an A in anatomy.

December 2008

“I love being on stage. I wish I was always in a show.”
Olivia, who feels all the world’s her stage, discovering that the stage itself is out of this world during a dress rehearsal for her first dance recital.

Mane Event

Olivia, Beni, Aunt Liz, G, Grandma Randi, and I spent the last couple of days at a lodge, a place that was a strange mix of American tourist crap trap—indoor water park, amusement park, arcade, animatronics, mini golf—and African safari. I was awakened this morning by a report that led me to believe that I was still dreaming: that, off in the not-too-far distance, prowled what appeared to be a great cat. I managed to make my way off the sofa bed and onto the balcony, where I exhausted the zoom capability of my camera to get this picture:

My curiosity piqued, I did next what any good parent would do: approached the lion with child in tow, confident that a Honda Civic would provide us with ample protection should said animal attack. Here’s what we saw out of our thick windows:

Elizabethan Time

A day after celebrating Christmas and Beni’s birthday, we were out in celebration again, this time to commemorate Liz’s birthday. Special guest Hannah Montana Olivia put down her cell phone long enough to join her mom and aunt in a picture at dinner.

Season of Sharing

Notable persons whose birthday falls on the 25th of December:

- Isaac Newton
- Clara Barton
- Humphrey Bogart
- Jimmy Buffett
- Annie Lennox
- Jesus

Add to that list my darling and prego wife, who endured much to give birth to our dear daughter, and who continues to battle a whole lot on the road to baby brother’s birthday in early spring. Beni, you are absolutely amazing and appreciated—happy birthday!

So Far, Sew Good

(Excuse the two bad sew puns for titles—I saw few options.)

Olivia, in a repeat performance of last year, slept in on the day we’d forgive her for waking up at the crack of dawn. Olivia must have been good this year and/or done a good job convincing the jolly one the three times she sat on his lap because she got just what she wanted: her very own sewing machine.

She wasted no time stitching up some items, including a stocking for me for next year.

A Maze-ing Race to the Top

'Twas the day before Christmas, when all through the museum
Two creatures were stirring—Oh, look! There they are! You can now see them.

The two made their way through the climber maze with great care
In hopes that St. Nicholas might also be there.

Season’s Greetings, Grumblings, and Grand Pronouncements

Consider these the gifts—your gold, frankincense, and myrrh, if you will—from not the wise men but rather a man who’s a wise ass. I hope these quotes from Olivia, all uttered just today, will warm your heart with laughter on this second day of winter.

While looking at a heart pendant that Beni had let her wear for the first time today: "Hearts are for loving on Christmas."

At naptime: "I can’t sleep because my eyes won’t sleep."

A non sequitur in the context of the discussion, but certainly not one in the context of Olivia’s life: "God wants us to live forever. Dr. King wants us to live in peace."

D'Art Around Town

Olivia, who confirmed last week that she still wants to be an artist when she grows up, must have thought she’d hit the jackpot this weekend: yesterday we visited the art center for an art lab lesson on landscapes, and today we stopped by the library for their holiday crafts program.

Putting a Hecks On

(Note: Hecky brainy is an Olivia-ism for “heck,” and so "What the heck?" becomes something like "What in the hecky brainy is going on here?" She uses the term in exaggerated frustration, and she often playfully slaps the side of her head as she uses it in phrase. Our child uses the term so often, in fact, that she refers to it in its abbreviated form—hecks. And in revealing herself to be the firstborn that she is, Olivia has implemented some specific guidelines for the term’s use.)

Me: "Olivia, what in the hecky brainy are you doing?"

Olivia: "Daddy, hecks can only be used during the morning and the afternoon. Not at nighttime."

Me: "Why not at night?"

Olivia: "Because I’m the chooser. I’m the decider."

Ruff-ing It

Television seems to be one of those necessary evils. Necessary, in the sense that it’s one of the only things that’ll keep Olivia’s prolonged attention, thus providing us with a break when needed; evil, in that it has sucked so much time from my life (and for me, it’s much easier to damn a box than myself). But I must say, if my daughter is going to sit in front of a television, I’d want her watching shows like “FETCH! with Ruff Ruffman,” her current fave.

“FETCH!” is a PBS show—it’s part game show, part reality TV, but 100% fun. The host is an animated dog named Ruff Ruffman, who sends each season’s six contestants on select tasks, each designed to educate while entertaining us viewers at home. (Our own Fetcher now complains of sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia when she gets an ice cream headache.) The creators of the show have expanded their enterprise to children’s museums around the country, and fortunately for us, a “FETCH!” lab has taken up residence in our local discovery museum, giving us a doggone good reason to renew our family membership.

On this day, Olivia and the lab assistants constructed flying apparatuses out of paper, paper clips, drinking straws, and tape.

Christmas Star

No doubt that every parent at tonight’s Christmas concert thought their child was a star—ourselves included. Our radiant child took her role as a senior leader quite seriously: she practiced her songs day and night, and according to one of her teachers, was one of a handful of students who she could count on to help guide some of the younger students through their joint performance.

The treats just kept on coming: after the delightful show, we feasted on holiday desserts, and the kids got to visit with the special visitor.

A sewing machine? Really??

Meowy Christmas

Our festive and felicitous feline prowled the grounds of a pavilion in search of Santa during “Christmas in the Park.” She eventually found the rotund one in—you guessed it—the rotunda, where she asked him for—you guessed it again—a sewing machine.

Shot Heard Round the World

Round number two of child’s flu shot + a highly anxious preschooler whose worry level was heightened by the knowledge that she would have to have to have another shot a month after her first = a loud and laborious undertaking at the pediatrician’s office.

Jingle Fever

Olivia and her dance crew ushered in the holidays with their performance of “Jingle Bell Rock” at the dance recital.

Mother's Day

Today my mom hits one of those milestone birthdays, the kind for which Hallmark maintains a special section. Cracking on her age seems trite, so allow me to go in the direction of heartfelt appreciation.

Dear Mom,

You are one of those people who other people are glad that they know. Do you remember Vinnie Johnson? He of the Detroit Pistons, when they were the Bad Boys? As you know, they called him “the Microwave” because he provided instant offense. Well, I’d go with “the Fireplace” for you, in that your presence both brightens and warms any room you’re in. Your enthusiasm is the stuff of legend. Paul Bunyan may have had the strength of a dozen men, but it’s you who has the energy level of a dozen Paul Bunyans.

A born teacher, you have dedicated much of your life to improving the life of others through education. I know your students are grateful to have had you; I’m lucky in that I never have to leave the classroom. You have taught me so much already, but most importantly, you have taught me to pursue an ethos of kindness and love, the guiding principles by which you lead your own life. I wish you happiness always but especially so on this special day.

Love,

me

Half a Wonderful Birthday

A half past four is the time my work day comes to a close; also, it signifies Olivia’s age in years, for today happens to be her half-birthday. I thought it might be fun to see how much she’s changed since her first half-birthday.

Olivia, circa December 2004

Wishing Wellness

My grandpa, here with me and my dad,
during a visit while I was in college

My grandfather in Japan, a proud man who once wowed the neighborhood kids with his strength—he kept a chin-up bar in his art studio—has recently been incapacitated by the cruel fate of cancer. My grandpa and I have always been separated by distance and language, but neither serve to buffer this pain I feel for him in my heart. As my dad leaves today to be by his side, please keep my grandfather in your thoughts and prayers. Domo arigato.

Facing a Short Fall

I’m not one of those environmentalists who attributes any abnormal weather occurrence to global warming—who am I kidding? I most certainly am that person!—but come on, this is getting ridiculous. I want to ask the deniers of science where our springs and autumns have gone. Tell them I’d like our seasons back, and so would our kids and grandkids.

Below is the view from our front porch this morning, a mere two days after Olivia staged an impromptu celebration for autumn at her preschool’s playground:

I realize that we are just a month away from winter’s official start, but the phenomena of winters and summers starting earlier—an observable result of global climate change—has effectively cheated us and the natural world of full falls and springs. A year without the four seasons is like listening to Vivaldi’s “The Four Seasons” without the spring and fall movements: it deprives us of the full sensory experience.

And so while I can appreciate the beauty that is the first snowfall of the year, it also has me recommitted to the cause for which I care so deeply. So remember: us treehuggers may be self-righteous and annoying as hell, but at least we’re on the side working to stave off global ruination.

Faux Show

Contrary to Olivia’s recipe, we didn’t attempt a tofu-rducken—a dish consisting of Tofurkey® stuffed with a de-boned mock duck, which itself is stuffed with a small soy chicken—this Thanksgiving, but we did prepare the original ersatz “meat” loaf, seen here in full soy and wheat gluten glory.

Once in a Leaftime

The fall, named perhaps for what the leaves do from tree branches, provides those opportunities to gather both leaf piles and memories from our childhood. I can still vividly recall the smells and sounds of crashing into and thrashing about a mound of raked leaves. And it’s nearly as fun now watching my daughter share in the joy of this rite of fall as it was for me when I was that child among the leaves.

Wonder the Weather

Olivia grabbed my tie, belt, and basketball shoes, then made like Willard Scott by giving us the weather forecast and wishing Beatrice Sanders of Rapid City, South Dakota a very happy 100th birthday.

Mocked Turtleneck

Our child's reason for not wanting to wear her newest item of clothing:

"My friends were all staring at my turtleneck with a mean face."

Theory of (Dance Dance) Revolution

At a gathering at Hassan and Michelle’s, the kids and the kids at heart danced—then danced again—toward a revolution.

Let It Sew!

Last night we attended a holiday fundraiser that’s organized by a local social service agency. We came with friends for the festivities, fun, and food but got even more in return: Olivia and I got our names in the newspaper. Here’s an excerpt of the article in which we were mentioned:

Four-year-old Olivia K. sang “Jingle Bells” into the microphone. Olivia’s father, Chris K. of [our hometown], said the festival is a “great way to jumpstart the holidays. And it’s for such a good cause.”

The [previously named] nonprofit agency serves more than 1,000 families every year with residential treatment, family and community services and academic services for children.

The goal for this year’s festival is $170,000.

Olivia said her favorite part of the festival was telling her holiday wishes to Santa Claus. She said she told him that for her the greatest gift of all would be a sewing machine. [Ha! What a stitch!]

Hump Day

The Camel

The camel has a single hump,
The dromedary two,
Or else the other way around;
I'm never sure, are you?

Ogden Nash

Olivia: "Camel, camel. Daddy, caaa-MULL!"

Me: "Why are you saying ‘camel,’ Olivia?"

Olivia: "Because I love you."

Me: "I love you too, sweetie. But what’s with all the camels?"

Olivia: "It means ‘I love you’ in Spanish."

Me: "Oh…te amo."

Olivia: "Yup. Camel."

Me: "Camel too, Olivia."

Never a Doll Moment

Kenneth and Mamie Clark were married psychologists famous for their doll studies that demonstrated the ways racism seeped into the psyches of young black children. Their experiments tested perceptions of race, and their findings—that black kids seemed to prefer white dolls over black ones—were cited in Brown v. Board of Education, the landmark Supreme Court decision that ruled public-school segregation unconstitutional.

Fast-forward fifty-plus years and you’ll still find how dolls can help demonstrate prevailing racial beliefs and assumptions. Our daughter—she of three races—is old enough to know that people are often categorized by certain physical characteristics but too young to understand all that lies beneath that scratched surface. And so when she picks up her favorite doll, the thought may cross her mind that her baby’s skin is darker than her own, but that’s the extent of it.

Olivia’s decided recently to bring her baby doll with her most every time we’re out, including to school (and restaurants). The other day, two teachers discovered the doll lying alone on a table and began searching for its parent. Olivia, seeing that her doll had been found, spoke up to claim her baby. “Is this really your baby?” the teachers asked. Yes, insisted Olivia. "Really?" they inquired. Yes, she nodded.

When I asked her to speculate as to why the teachers had asked her repeatedly whether the doll was actually hers, Olivia relayed that they were just making sure because her name wasn’t written anywhere on the doll. Of course…my sentiment inexactly. (I am prone toward cynicism far too often.)

It’s at a moment like this when I’m reminded of the preciousness of youthful innocence.

Give Me Bubble Tea or Give Me Death

At this point, I half expect my family and friends to hold an intervention on my behalf. My addiction? The sweet allure of boba tea—aka bubble tea—a tea beverage served with gelatinous tapioca pearls.

How bad has it gotten? Well, our local tea house has a customer loyalty program—a free beverage after ten paid drinks—which I have cashed in on so often that I’d be entitled to a free drink on all my free drinks, if management happened to be so generous.

I find myself craving bubble teas more than I ever did coffee drinks, but fortunately for our pocketbook and my waistline, the shops serving these ambrosial (and highly caloric) beverages are much more difficult to find—at least where we live—than the innumerable places offering cups of joe.

Blast from the Past

This happened back in February around Valentine’s Day. Olivia had inquired why the helium-filled heart balloon in our living room was becoming more earthbound with each passing day.

Me: "Olivia, do you know what's in a balloon that makes it float?"

O: "No."

Me: "Well, it's a gas called helium. Can you say 'helium'?"

O: "HEE-lee-yum. It's a gas? Just like my farts?"

Hoping for Smooth Sale-ing

Our charming, well cared for, conveniently located, historic home gets launched into the housing market’s choppy waters on this day. Here’s to a bon voyage.

Never-Never Landscape

After several failed landscaping projects in the past, I vowed to never attempt another one again. Ha. I should have never said never, especially since we’re looking to boost our home’s curb appeal. (We’re putting our house up for sale this week.) Fortunately for me, I have a child who loves to help out with this sort of work.

Dancing Around: the Subject

Olivia is enrolled in a tap and ballet class through our local parks & rec department, but like most things we sign her up for, she’s yet to fully participate in the activities. In this case, I think it’s about expectations not meeting reality: she probably came into this thinking “Dancing With the Stars” or “America’s Best Dance Crew,” but knows now that hard work precedes fancy feet.

Gender Studies

Prior to taking our firstborn to the ultrasound appointment that would reveal the baby’s sex, we asked her if she knew how we would be able to make the distinction. She nodded in the affirmative, stating that seeing a peanuts would equal boy, while the sight of a ‘gina would signify a girl.

For those who haven’t heard yet, here’s what we saw:

We’re looking forward to welcoming our little peanut—his peanuts occluded in the above profile—to our family in early April.